One evening this week I said to the kids to get in the car, as I had a big surprise which would blow there socks off. I then spent 30 minutes travelling through three different counties hyping up the pizza restaurant. As we arrived I became best daddy ever. Yes people the sun shone brightly out of my backside, and was so bright the restaurant was now wearing sunglasses.
We sat down, went through the menu, choose the food and headed for the drinks section, where they allowed the kids to get there own drinks. The kids served themselves enough ice to redo Antarctica, and pumped in enough squash to introduce diabetes, followed by a tiny amount of water for decoration. As we sat down at the table the kids spotted a spiral staircase of almost glass, going up into the sky like a fairytale and asked what is was. When I explained it was the toilets, suddenly everyone’s bladders were exploding, no seriously, it got so bad we had to take turns taking the kids to the toilet, then my wife needed to go, and finally after more trips to the loo than we had had food and drink, we sat down.
By trip number six, even the other families around us were wondering if we had a family bladder problem!
The server brought over the adults grown up pizza that we had chosen, then came the kids pizza that they had chosen, remember that, no help from grown ups, they chose all on their own. Both looked at their pizza like it was topped with horse poo, and started a post-mortem on our pizza. Sorry my little sun beams, but unless you want me to beat your fingers with my napkins, take your grubby paws off my pizza. Eventually I was a broken man and handed over parts of our pizza, encouraging them to start on theirs. Within minutes they were all finished and claiming another loo trip up the spiral staircase, and a trip to the ice cream machine. Sorry my keen beans, can Mummy and Daddy take at least a second bite of their food? Within minutes I was rushing my food like it was my very last meal, and this was accelerated by Captain Chaos and my little girl hugging the concrete support pillar, like we were only let out for the weekend.
As dessert came over, Captain Chaos took one spoonful of his ice cream, and carried on eating his pizza and garlic bread. Nice combination, but I was still suffering with indigestion when the kids announced they needed another trip to the loo. By trip number six, even the other families around us were wondering if we had a family bladder problem, so I just smiled and grinned like I was only allowed out at the weekends. As we paid, it suddenly dawned on me that we had spent more time travelling to the loo than we did eating. I wondered if next time we just get takeaway pizza and go back and forth up the stairs to the loo?
As we left the staff asked if we wanted the left over single slice of pizza boxed, I declined, until my kids announced they needed it boxed in case they were hungry. We took the single lone slice back and the kids almost dropped off in the car. Now that’s what I call a successful trip and ended with a happy Mummy and Daddy, with almost twenty minutes of grown up conversation.
Night, night everyone, have a fantastic week, and I will see you all next week.